Warning: mild spoilers abound.
It’s been a hot minute, but the Wayans and company are back on the big screen with a brand-new Scary Movie.
The latest addition to the franchise, Scary Movie (or Scary Movie 6 if we’re being casual) is set to reunite the Core Four cast members — Ray (Shawn Wayans), Shorty (Marlon Wayans), Brenda (Regina Hall), and Cindy (Anna Faris). This will also be the first time the Wayans family have full creative control over the franchise, ever since they took it back from Miramax founders Harvey and Bob Weinstein. “This [Scary Movie] is coming at a time where the world needs a laugh,” Marlon Wayans said in a recent interview with Variety. “And look, we’re not here to save the world. We’re here to remind people what it’s like to laugh and feel good.”
As we get ready for this latest Scary Movie to hit Philippine cinemas on June 10, we thought there was no better time than to revisit the franchise’s stand-out characters. Over the course of 13 years and five movies, a number of characters — either recurring or not — have left an impact on the franchise’s most loyal fans. While it’s hard to say who the best cast member is, we can think about who’s the most memorable of them all (and who had the most quotable lines). We’ve ranked all the characters who’ve stood the test of time and burned the most one-liners into our brains.
Honorary Mention: Toshio Saeki
Although Toshio (Garrett Masuda) is really only in one or two scenes in Scary Movie 4, he’s one of the best parts of the 2006 addition to the franchise. For starters, he puts up with Cindy’s nonexistent Japanese (“Hibachi benihana teriyaki?” She asks him), and plus, he has a few killer one-liners of his own (“Nagasaki Okinawa Hokkaido,” which roughly translates to “Your Japanese is awful. It dishonors my ears.”).
10. Greg Phillipe
Who remembers Greg (Lochlyn Munro)? Most of us won’t, but he was a part of the main friend group in the first Scary Movie. Greg’s got serious anger management issues, which makes sense considering he’s a spoof on the dumb, hot-headed jock that gets killed in almost every horror movie. Despite being one of the early casualties of the movie, Greg did give us a few good bits before he kicked the bucket (e.g. him strangling the hell out of Cindy and his micropenis).
9. George Logan
Played by the real-life rapper Simon Rex (a.k.a. Dirt Nasty), George Logan helped lighten the mood of Scary Movie 3 as an angry white boy trying to make it in hip hop (George’s best line: “You just hate me because I’m Black!”). To be fair, his 8 Mile-inspired rap battle was not the worst part of the movie — in fact, he was doing pretty well until he put up his white hoodie. Yikes.
8. Tom Logan
Charlie Sheen was an adequate source of comedy in Scary Movie 3 (and for a few minutes in Scary Movie 4, where he’s the only character to die by Viagra). As Tom Logan, the traumatized pastor-farmer of Scary Movie 3, Sheen gave us a number of outstanding sketches, including him not honoring his wife’s dying wishes (“No sex.” “Honey, you’re not speaking clearly.”) and getting into a fistfight with Michael Jackson.
7. Buffy Gilmore
While Buffy (Shannon Elizabeth) is essentially just the sexy airhead of the first Scary Movie, I’ll give her a few bonus points for her time onstage as Miss Sweet Teen and her subsequent death scene. Buffy’s bitchy until the end, despite Ghostface stabbing her, breaking her leg, and cutting her head off. In the words of the great Buffy Gilmore: “Ohhhhhh look at me, I’m dead!”
6. Mahalik and CJ
These two hypemen (or best friends? Or lovers?) stuck around for both Scary Movie 3 and 4, and I’m glad they did. Played by Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart respectively, Mahalik and CJ spend most of their time in the franchise bickering about oxymorons (CJ: “How the hell do you wake up dead?”) or reenacting scenes from Brokeback Mountain.
5. Hanson
Just to set the record straight: Hanson’s (Chris Elliott) big line is “Take my little hand” (and not “Take my strong hand,” as the Mandela Effect suggests). But anyway, the creepy butler with the malformed appendage does the most in Scary Movie 2, from serving up the grossest turkey dinner (he sticks his hand into a lot of the mashed potato) to getting into petty (and very problematic) disability-themed fights with the wheelchair-bound researcher Dwight Hartman (David Cross).
4. Ray Wilkins
So Ray (Shawn Wayans) is clearly on a gender journey. Try as he might, the star of the football team can’t will himself into being sexually attracted to his girlfriend, Brenda (Regina Hall). If he isn’t busy denying that he’s gay, Ray’s trying to get Brenda to wear his football gear (and go by “Brandon”) or asking if a very tight yellow tank top makes him look gay (it does).
3. Shorty Meeks
Every Shorty Meeks (Marlon Wayans) quote is comedy gold. There’s “Yo, that jacket is tight, son, yah mean?” There’s “Run, bitch, runnnnnn!” Out of the Core Four, Shorty’s the one who’s least likely to survive, but the stoner’s managed to make it all the way to the latest Scary Movie. Are he and Ghostface gonna pass a bong again this time and around? You’ll just have to wait and see.
2. Cindy Campbell
Although Anna Faris has gone on the record multiple times to say that she never thought she was funny before Scary Movie, I disagree. Faris more than delivered in her acting debut as Cindy Campbell, the Sidney Prescott-inspired final girl who’s made it into almost every movie of the franchise (save Scary Movie 5, but that’s a trainwreck we won’t acknowledge). It isn’t just that Faris has the facial expressions to pull off Cindy’s perpetually confused looks (although she does that well, too). She’s also capable of pulling off the timing, physical comedy, and dumb one-liners required of Cindy, and that’s what’s made the final girl such a big part of the Core Four. There are so many classic Cindy highlights, I have always been partial to her screaming, “I’m sorry if my traumatized life is such an inconvenience to your perfect existence!”
1. Brenda Meeks
As much as Cindy Campbell has left her mark on the Scary Movie franchise, she just isn’t Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall). Besides surviving death multiple times (the first Scary Movie and Scary Movie 3), Brenda knows exactly when to be Cindy’s trusted sidekick and when to run for cover. Her best moments include her Muay Thai-kicking the demon Tabitha (“Cindy, this bitch is messing up my floor!”), ruining the moviegoing experience for everyone (“Shhh! Back at you!”), and going toe-to-toe with a resurrected skeleton (“Cindy, this is a skeleton! This is BONES!”).
Frequently Asked Questions
Brenda Meeks, played by Regina Hall, is widely considered the standout character of the Scary Movie franchise. Her physical comedy, sharp one-liners, and recurring survival across multiple films made her the most memorable of the Core Four.
The Core Four refers to the main returning cast of the Scary Movie franchise: Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans), and Shorty Meeks (Marlon Wayans). All four are set to return in the 2026 reboot.
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The new Scary Movie is a continuation of the original Wayans-led franchise rather than a full reboot. It reunites the Core Four cast and marks the first film produced with the Wayans family back in creative control after the Weinstein-era entries.
The Wayans family departed the franchise after Scary Movie 2 following a dispute with Harvey and Bob Weinstein, who reportedly produced Scary Movie 3 without their consent. The new film marks their return to the property.
Anna Faris did not appear in Scary Movie 5 (2013), which was produced without the Core Four and is broadly considered the weakest entry in the franchise. Her absence, along with the Wayans family’s non-involvement, is a major reason the film is viewed separately from the original run.
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