I was devastated. I was totally, totally broken. I was told that she was in the hospital before she passed on by some friends. Pero noong news ‘yong confirmation na she was gone, ang hirap.
I went back to how I started in the business, I went back to how I adored her when I was growing up in Borongan, Eastern Samar. I went back to the very first time I saw her. That was the first time I came to Manila. Kasama ako ng aking ama at ina. I don’t know if I was in first year high school or Grade 6. Basta ganoong edad. They brought us to Manila. Nakitira kami sa isang tiyahin sa Malibay, Pasay, which is close to EDSA and is near the old KBS Channel 9 building along Roxas Boulevard.
In the neighborhood, talk was that Nora Aunor was going to be in that KBS building at eight in the evening. All the neighbors of my tyang were Noranians. So ako nakisali ako doon. Naalala ko ‘yon.
Tapos three or two in the morning, lahat naghahanda na. Kanya-kanyang dala ng chair. We all trooped to KBS, found a space, and we had our territory. The appearance was [at] 8 p.m.! Under the rain and sun, you had to protect your space, because if you moved away, some people would take it.
I was in a good position, but I had no idea how she was going to appear. All I knew was that she was going to appear. So, the whole day, we were there, may mga dalang baon, and then, of course, business was brisk around the area. May mga nagbebenta ng kung anu-ano. And by about 8, 9, wala pa rin. Gabi na, and then there was a commotion. And then, on the 9th or 10th floor of that building was the great superstar.
I was watching her from where we were. Tapos, ang layu-layo niya and she was so small, but she was so huge. Alam mo ‘yon? I knew her face, I knew her eyes, and it was as if she was just looking at me.
Everything was in slow motion. Parang, “Oh my God, this is the Nora Aunor.’ And that was quite a distance. And she’s not a big mover. Just a wave and smile. As Khalil Gibran would say, “The winds of the heavens dance between you.”
“The only way to understand the great Nora Aunor was to love her. Hindi ka puwedeng humanga at makipagkaibigan. The way to be with her was not to follow human logic or to be reasonable. You just had to love her.”
And that made a mark. Kasi, today, when I think about what I do, which is a lot in the business of celebrities. I manage, I do brands, I do talk shows, I do consultancy work. I have this passion and I do what I do because I’m a fan. And I’ve become a fan of so many people. I’ve become a fan of many actors, actresses, and performers. But first, I was a fan of Nora Aunor.
And in the late ‘80s, I managed her. Tatlo kami nila Girlie Rodis, Vivian Recio, and myself managed, as a team, the great Nora Aunor. So I traveled with her to the Middle East and then we went to Europe and other countries. I worked with her up close. But did it diminish my adoration, my veneration? I don’t think I was ever effective because I was a fan. Mahirap.
Usually, you negotiate with the artist about certain things: fees and many other details. But with her, it was very emotional. Taga-katok lang ako ng kwarto [to say,] “Mag- uumpisan na po.”
Other artists would probably be told, “Excuse me, we’re starting the show in 30 minutes. Whatever you’re doing, in 30 minutes, you have to come out to be on stage.” With her, no. [Laughs]
She was a goddess. I remained a fan throughout my life.
Every time I was given a chance to do interviews with her in my shows, I would fidget. I would never relax. “Ate Guy, paano mo ginawa ‘yong Himala? Bring me back to that scene.” Alam mo ‘yong ‘pag nagtatanong ka na [you’re cheering her on]? “Sige, gandahan mo.” Para kang stage mother.
May mga pagkakataon, halimbawa, when I would make her talk about the process. Because, as an interviewer, lalo na when I started to do interviews, I started to do research on the great [acting] teachers, from Stanislavski to Meisner, to the great actors and the great interviewers. So, may mga pagkakataon na [I ask], “Ate Guy, paano ba ang proseso?” “Wala talaga.”
It’s not being secretive as opposed to… she just is. That’s it and that is the story. ‘Yong kwento ni Joel Lamangan na pinapaiyak siya na sa kaliwa ang tulo [on the set of Himala], totoo ‘yon.
Mayroon siyang ganoon. She’s not verbose. She doesn’t have the ability to parse her process and explain it. She just does it. And she knows when she’s doing it right. That brilliant awareness, I think that’s a gift.
I was just so affected by her. Ang sinabi ko, when I was a fan, I didn’t know that she was a brilliant actor. Wala pa ‘yong mga Himala, Tatlong Taong Walang Diyos, Ina Ka ng Anak Mo. It was a big bonus, to me as a fan, that she turned out to be, inarguably, the greatest actor in Philippine cinema.
Sabi ko nga in one of my interviews during the wake, the only way to understand the great Nora Aunor was to love her. Hindi ka puwedeng humanga at makipagkaibigan. The way to be with her was not to follow human logic or to be reasonable. You just had to love her. Was she easy? She wasn’t. And rightly so.
Even my narrative as a manager is very [much as a] fan. Even when I was negotiating for her as a manager, it was always “I’ll have to go back to my artist.” Tignan ko [kung] komportable, kung magagawa niya, kung kaya naming ma-deliver. Hindi katulad, halimbawa, with other artists; you do jobs. Dalawa lang ang dahilan: you’re paid well, or the job is good for your career. Swerte ka pag napagsama mo ‘yong dalawa. With this, hindi. Aalagaan mo kung ano ang gusto [niya], ano ang kaya. Ibang timpla.
Kasi hindi ako nakapagkwento e. I begged off from being part of the necrological service. Because, baka hindi ko matapos. Baka maglupasay ako. I told Lotlot de Leon, “Hindi ko kaya because I will be very, very emotional.”
So you can imagine how her death affected me. And I’ve never talked [about her], I didn’t even know that we were talking about Nora. I avoided talking about her except, of course, when I did the interview with the kids, and I could not even open my mouth kasi ang hirap, ‘di ba? Hindi ko alam anong sasabihin. I know what to say, I know what not to say. Sabi ko lang, “Itong pain na ito para ka talagang nawalan ng pamilya.”
Lalo na ‘yong kwento niya, the Cinderella didn’t end up marrying the prince. All she had was the undying love of fans like me. I don’t know if it was enough, but ako, I gave her all my love.
Alam ninyo ‘yong last episode ng Superstar ni Ate Guy? She was supposed to say a makabagbag-damdaming spiel in the end. I tried to write it for her. “Ate Guy, subukan lang natin. Ito ang sasabihin mo.” I had a cue card, but Ate Guy has mastered the art of reading and not reading. Sabi ko, “Go to the line.” When she said it, I was sobbing.
“Mananatiling buhay ang Superstar dahil hindi naman talaga ako ang superstar. Kayo po ang superstar.”
Excerpt from Boy Abunda’s The Rolling Stone Interview from the second print issue of Rolling Stone Philippines.
Pre-order a copy on Sari-Sari Shopping, or read the e-magazine now here.
