The Manila online dating scene is just a shitshow now, and if you’re dating around, you might be inclined to join in on the tomfoolery. But you really don’t need to lower your standards just so you don’t spend Valentine’s Day alone.
Online dating is tricky. Vulnerability and honesty, some of the most important pillars of any kind of relationship, are harder to achieve in online spaces. Yet one cannot help but be on guard; you can be talking to anyone, from a scammer to a woman-hating incel, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
For women, the goal for finding a partner used to be simpler: find a man who could earn enough to run a household. That’s not the world we live in anymore — thank God — but men continue to be a problem.
They’re out here texting “wyd” at 3 a.m., posting the blurriest selfies on their dating profiles, and proclaiming that they’re genuinely “nice guys” (while still demanding that you be worth their time, of course).
Here, we list online dating red flags we’re absolutely shit-talking about in our group chats, as haters and certified lover girls.
Petty Problems
When all the pics on their profile are group photos.
Do you not have solo pics? Why am I out here playing “Guess Who” before swiping? —MW
When their work bio says they “work at the Krusty Krab.”
This isn’t a diss against the Krusty Krab itself (we here at Rolling Stone Philippines love SpongeBob SquarePants). My main complaint is that too many of you are claiming to work at the Krusty Krab when, in fact, you are copying each other’s bios without trying to be creative. The same complaint applies to bios that just say “corporate slave.” Please be original. —MW
When all your pictures are just of you posing in front of a car.
If it’s your own car, then that’s you being a show-off. If it’s not your own car, then that’s so much worse. Like, huh? Did you just pull up to a random parking lot? —MW
Signaling Insecurities
When they don’t show their full face.
You’re not mysterious; you’re hiding your face because you feel bad about some part of you. Cut the deception. Face me and look me in the eye. —PG
“I know I’m [insert insecurity]. I’m working on it.”
This one makes me really sad. Putting yourself out on the dating market takes some level of vulnerability, but it also requires that you believe you are desirable, “ugly” parts and all. The right person for you won’t care that your voice is weird, or whatever. And in the words of RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?” —PG
Hating Women
When they unironically claim to be an alpha male.
Oh, alpha males. These are the boys who love telling you that males are the superior species and that we poor females must depend on them for survival. They are also the type who want “biological, God-fearing women” who can cook (and they usually tell you this in their bios — at least they’re upfront!). —MW
“You know you’re supposed to make the first move, right?”
Yes, we know, and this reeks of a communication issue you had with one particular person that you’re now taking out on every woman on Bumble. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this too many times. —PG
When a cisgender-heterosexual man shows up on my feed, even though my preferences are set to women and nonbinary.
I said I don’t want you! Get away from me. —PG
When they get transphobic.
When men say they dislike trans women, it usually indicates that they have a limited view of what women are or what they could look like, and this hinders deeper connections. Also, I don’t like bigots. —PG
Lacking A Personality
When they use AI in their profile (either in text or photos).
I’m not on Bumble trying to date ChatGPT. If you’re half-assing your dating profile, then you’re definitely going to half-ass this relationship. —MW
When their bio is just an Instagram handle.
That’s so lazy. It gives the same energy as just putting “Man” in the About Me tag section. —MW
When their hottest take involves pineapples on pizza.
The “pineapples on pizza” discussion has been over for a decade now. Surely, you have thought of more interesting things? —PG
When they say they’re empaths, or claim to be self-aware.
Everyone is capable of empathy and self-awareness. These things don’t say anything about you. —PG
When they explicitly state that they’re “apolitical.”
What do you hope to signal with this? Ignorance? Spinelessness? People are far more interesting when they have convictions and beliefs, and are capable of talking about them, no matter how ineloquent they are, or “wrong,” even. —PG
Stranger Danger
When they claim to be a “nice guy.”
I’m not falling for that. I’ve seen Promising Young Woman. —MW
When they call themselves a founder or CEO.
What business did you put up? Not that it matters, but if you don’t tell me what you’re an exec of, I’m going to assume it’s a pyramid scheme. —PG
When they put in the “wrong” age.
1996 is a ways off from 2004 (this goes both ways). Did you really put in the wrong birth year by mistake, or are you being deceptive? —PG
When their bio is just travel dates and flags (e.g., “MNL Jan 22-25 🇵🇭”)
I’m not opposed to an occasional hook-up, but I’d like to feel like I’m more than a tourist spot. And no, I will not be your tour guide, thank you very much. —MW
When they’re on Travel Mode, but they’re not even in the country.
So what’s your plan, then? Are you coming to the country and you want a hook-up ready, or do you want a freaky video call? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who willingly enters a long-distance relationship, either, so there must be something wrong with you. —MW
When they’re in the 35+ age bracket, but looking for matches aged 18-20.
Sir, that’s a child. She barely knows how to drive. —MW
