The recent drama surrounding Happy Islanders influencer couple Andi Eigenmann and Philmar Alipayo has sparked a fiery discussion about what truly qualifies as a red flag in relationships — and how we should respond to them.
To recap: on February 7, Eigenmann took to Instagram Stories, sharing cryptic messages alluding to an unidentified “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” She followed this with a screenshot of a conversation with ChatGPT, where she asked the AI if it was “sus” for a “friend” to invite her life partner to get a couples tattoo (note: ChatGPT said it was, indeed, sus).
After a whirlwind of online speculation about infidelity, Eigenmann cleared the air, stating that no cheating had occurred. Instead, an unnamed friend had meddled in their relationship and persuaded Alipayo to get matching tattoos after a fight between the couple.
The tattoo — “224,” symbolizing “2Today, 2Tomorrow, 4Forever” — was explained in an Instagram post by the friend, who has since been identified as Swedish photographer Pernilla Sjoö.
In her Instagram post, Eigenmann remarked on how she should have listened to her friends who told their respective partners to “stay away” from Sjoö. “I have seen the red flags but chose to look beyond it since she was already a friend before I came into the picture. Was shy to call it out to my partner. Now I realized setting boundaries in a relationship doesn’t make it toxic,” wrote Eigenmann.
Three days later, on February 10, Alipayo announced via Facebook that he and Eigenmann are back together and on good terms. “It all went way [too] far and should have been handled in private,” wrote Alipayo. “Ok na kami sanan ok ra [sic] kami.”
While we can’t say for sure what exactly went down between Eigenmann, Alipayo, and Sjoö (and perhaps this is for the best), their drama brings up a valid point on red flags, and how we have no idea how to deal with them.
What to do with a red flag
Apparently we’re so bad at spotting warning signs in our relationships that the University of the Philippines Open University (UPOU) now offers a free online course titled “Identifying Red Flags.” The course is designed to help students navigate the evolving landscape of dating in the Philippines, equipping them with the tools to recognize red flags and to set healthy emotional boundaries.
In the Philippines, although discussions surrounding red flags have become more prevalent due to social media, there’s still a lot of work needed to help Filipinos grasp the consequences of ignoring relational warning signs.
A 2024 study led by the International Review of Social Sciences Research explored how recognizing red flags impacts Filipino young adults when choosing a long-term partner. While the study determined that the Filipino participants were able to perceive a range of red flags — including emotional labor, destruction, and manipulation, among others — these warning signs potentially “emerged as a distorted perception of love” or as a “conditioned response.” Because red flags can be difficult to recognize, many don’t realize the serious issues in their relationship until it’s too late.
On the one hand, the way we brush aside serious warning signs in our relationships exposes a deeper issue within our culture where accountability for ourselves and others is not taken seriously enough. On the other hand, how we deal with red flags in relationships is also deeply personal. In the end, it’s crucial to remember we always have a supportive community to turn to for help.
