Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery has given us perhaps the best Christmas gift of all: a new hot priest. Josh O’Connor steals the show as Father Jud Duplenticy, a tender-hearted man of the cloth with a deeply troubled past, hazel-colored eyes I could stare into for days, and a cheeky neck tattoo that peeks just so out from his priestly collar. He traipses around upstate New York in his cassock, helping Daniel Craig’s Detective Benoit Blanc solve yet another mystery. If I were part of Father Jud’s congregation, I’d make sure to keep a front row seat by the altar every Sunday.
O’Connor joins a long, star-studded list of cinematic hot priests who’ve found purchase in global pop culture and captured our undivided, unholy attention. There’s Jude Law as Pope Pius XIII in The Young Pope, where the British actor has no business being that sexy or sassy. There’s also Andrew Scott as The Hot Priest in Fleabag (yes, that’s his name), who has a wonderful scene in a tight little confessional booth with Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
Philippine cinema is also no stranger to this distracting trope, and many of our local leading men have donned churchly vestments onscreen, much to our delight. In honor of the latest addition to the Knives Out franchise and O’Connor’s ability to awaken something deep and feral within us, here, in no particular order, are the hot priests of the small and big screen that have kept us yearning for a very different type of confession time.
Sid Lucero as Fr. Jerome in ‘Smaller and Smaller Circles’
A hot priest in glasses? God bless Sid Lucero, his cutesy rectangle specs, and his penchant for solving murder mysteries in Smaller and Smaller Circles. Directed by Raya Martin and based on the award-winning novel by F.H. Batacan (who co-wrote the script), the movie follows Father Gus (Nonie Buencamino) and Father Jerome (Lucero) as they track down a serial killer targeting the young boys of Payatas. Despite the macabre source material, there’s just something so alluring about seeing Lucero bending over case files and using his brain to solve a case. Josh O’Connor isn’t the only priest-turned-sleuth around these parts.
Neil Ryan Sese as Fr. Ricardo in ‘Seklusyon’
It’s always hot to see a priest who cares. In Erik Matti’s award-winning horror feature Seklusyon, Neil Ryan Sese takes on the collar of Father Ricardo, who is sent to a rural town to investigate a series of miracles performed by a child named Anghela Santa Maria (Rhed Bustamante). While most have deemed Anghela “miraculous,” Father Ricardo is not the type to be easily swayed. Although things definitely don’t go as planned for our favorite father, it’s definitely a turn-on to see him stick to his guns ‘til the very end.
Piolo Pascual as Fr. Juan Severino in ‘Mallari’
Although this isn’t the first time Piolo Pascual’s worn the Roman collar (he plays Padre Pedro in GomBurza and Elijah Canlas’ pastor papa in Sunshine), the leading man terrifies as a maniacal priest in Roderick Cabrido’s Mallari. Pascual steps into the blood-soaked vestments of Father Juan Severino Mallari, a 19th-century priest who allegedly murdered 57 people in cold blood. He’s got broad shoulders, some serious skill with a machete, and mommy issues for days. What’s not to love?
JC Santos as Brother Lucas in ‘Mallari’
Coming in hot as the second-hottest man of the faith in Mallari is JC Santos as Brother Lucas. While he isn’t technically a priest since he’s chosen to be a deacon, Brother Lucas steals a number of scenes playing a holy servant with a secret. Don’t trust that smooth, cute baby face, because why is he popping up in all those premonitions?
Martin del Rosario as Fr. Rex in ‘KMJS’ Gabi ng Lagim: The Movie’
Martin del Rosario’s teeny tiny moustache quivers every time he comes face to face with Jillian Ward’s demonic Angel in KMJS’ Gabi ng Lagim: The Movie, and it’s enough to send all of us into a hot and bothered daze. In the anthology film’s segment titled ‘Sanib,’ directed by King Mark Baco, del Rosario plays Father Rex, who, along with Epy Quizon’s Father Azul, must lead an exorcism to save Angel’s soul. While things do take a messy, bloody turn, del Rosario in a snug cassock and rosary number is more than enough for you to keep your eyes glued to the screen. Oh, he’s also surrounded by a few more hot men of cloth in this movie (Nikki Co, for example).
Enchong Dee as Padre Jacinto Zamora and Cedrick Juan as Padre Jose Burgos in ‘GomBurZa’
Two out of the three priests that make up the titular martyrs of Pepe Diokno’s MMFF winner GomBurZa caught our eye for being absolute hotties. There’s Enchong Dee’s soft boi, Padre Jacinto Zamora, who’s arguably the most sensitive out of the trio. Then there’s Cedrick Juan’s Padre Jose Burgos for those looking for a more outspoken type of holy man. The two men of the faith, along with Dante Rivero’s Padre Mariano Gomez, must navigate the false mutiny charges lobbed against them by Spanish colonizers. Although we all know how their story ends, it’s a joy to stare at our beloved padres nonetheless.
