‘House of the Dragon’ Season 3, Episode 5 is All Guts, but No Glory

This article contains spoilers.

After the high of watching Ormund Hightower’s (James Norton) power play unfold last episode, House of the Dragon Season 3 hits its first low in the snore fest that is Episode 5. But can a serial killer subplot save it?

It looks like Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) took Alyn of Hull’s advice and got cats to take care of the Red Keep’s rat situation. But a new, even more foul problem has befallen King’s Landing. After the queen had the Gold Cloaks raid the citadel for rebels and signs of rebellion, many of the guards turn up dead, their guts splayed out on cobblestone as flies buzz around. Daemon (Matt Smith) sets out with Ser Luthor Largent (Tom Cullen), the commander of the city watch, to find the culprit.

Last week’s episode teased that Helaena (Phia Saban) is pregnant again — although how that could have happened when her husband-brother Aegon (Tom Glynn-Carney) has been incapacitated and away for so long is a mystery (or maybe just a negligible plot hole). Her mother, Alicent (Olivia Cooke), worries that the child could be a boy and therefore another claimant to the throne for Rhaenyra to cull. So she asks Grand Maester Orwyle (Kurt Egyiawan) to make moon tea, the go-to abortifacient for Westerosi nobility. Orwyle gives her the tea, but warns her that he will no longer be able to grant Alicent any favors, as he has to remain loyal to Rhaenyra.

Alicent tries to get Helaena to drink the moon tea, but the latter insists on keeping the child. Mysaria (Sonoya Mizuno), as the Mistress of the Whispers, is duty-bound to get all the gossip around the Red Keep and report back to Rhaenyra, so she questions Alicent about the moon tea when she sees it. Alicent lies and says the tea was for her because she’d taken a lover after the death of Viserys, and downs the whole cup.

Fans can recall that the lover was Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel), who, with Alicent’s brother Gwayne Hightower (Freddie Fox), now leads an army on foot to the Riverlands, where they hope to make the Black-allied Lord Oscar Tully (Archie Barnes) bend the knee.

What’s Happening at Team Green?

In Harrenhal, the witch Alys Rivers (Gayle Rankin) fends off bounty hunters looking for Aemond (Ewan Mitchell), telling them that he isn’t there before spooking them with a colony of bats and a disappearing act. She is lying, of course. Aemond is in a room recovering from his wounds and getting nightmares about watching Aegon burn. Alys embraces him to comfort him and gets called “mother,” which, after that kiss in Episode 1, only solidifies his mommy issues.

Aegon is still sulking away in Rook’s Rest and rants to Larys (Matthew Needham) about how angry he is at Aemond for trying to kill him and how it’s made him a “pathetic cripple.” In response, his Hand (who also uses a cane to walk) tells him that he is solely responsible for his own misery — and delivers the first interesting line to come out of what’s becoming the season’s most boring episode so far.

“Firstborn son, prince of the realm, the finest tutors, the finest knights instructing you in the sword. A dragon so beautiful, they named it after the sun itself. You could have risen to greatness,” he says. “But instead, you trampled your birthright in the mud. You lazed, reveling in mediocrity, fucking anything in sight and drinking yourself into oblivion.” Aemond might have tried to burn Aegon to death last season, but it’s Larys skewering and roasting the ex-king now.

The anti-pep talk helps later on. They find Tyland Lannister (Jefferson Hall), who had survived the Battle of the Gullet, at Rook’s Rest. While Tyland and Larys discuss strategy, a man who had discovered Aegon’s true identity confronts him, but Aegon quickly kills him.

Alicent and Helaena try to escape Red Keep by dressing as maids, but Mysaria finds them and forces them back into their room, where she also realizes that Helaena is pregnant. There, Alicent tries to convince Mysaria that Rhaenyra wouldn’t be loyal to her because she’s already chosen Daemon. She also says that if Mysaria helps Alicent instead, the Hightowers may be able to return the favor. The Mistress of the Whispers only walks away.

Everyone is Losing the Dance of the Dragons

Back in the Riverlands, it turns out that Criston’s strategy to tire out Team Black’s army by having them follow his army on foot isn’t working. In fact, they’ve come way ahead of the Greens, even burning a bridge so they can’t cross a river. Gwayne, the posh nobleman that he is, is tired of walking through swamps and finding leeches on his legs. He realizes that Criston knew that they were already on the losing end of the next battle, and Criston explains that he wants to die a “great warrior.” 

In King’s Landing, Alicent and Helaena find a secret passage in their room and go in, hearing a draft and hoping it gives them a way out of the Red Keep, but they reach a dead end and get trapped.

In another part of the castle, Daemon and Luthor had just tortured a confession out of a spy, who told them that he’d killed the Gold Cloaks on his own on the orders of “King Daeron” (or Ormund, more like). But in the evening, Daemon finds the bodies of Luthor and the other watchmen posed at a banquet table, intestines out, and the words “A feast for traitors” drawn in blood on the wall behind them.

House of the Dragon Season 3 is available to stream on HBO Max.

Pie Gonzaga

State of Affairs Writer

Pie Gonzaga is the State of Affairs Writer of Rolling Stone Philippines, covering politics and social issues. Her work with Rolling Stone Philippines includes interviews with figures inside and outside of governance, from congressmen to activists. Aside from politics, she has also written various culture and music stories, such as album reviews, TV show recaps, and explainers for internet/pop culture phenomena.

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